The Lesser Dad Chronicles
by MoonRoses59
Summary: TRIGGER WARNINGS INSIDE bunch of lesser dad oneshots because who doesn't love this pair!


A/N: Guys, I'm gonna be brutally honest with y'all.

One of my loyal readers gave me a super good prompt and right now it's really late and frankly I need crack, so sorry my guy, gal, or gender neutral pal, it might be a while. Not actual crack though. I don't do drugs. Sorry officers. Also, **TRIGGER WARNINGS, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse/Neglect, and time switches around frequently. The first and last ones take place at anytime in canon, and the second and third take place post-game.**

HAVE LESSER DAD CRACK I'M GOING TO BED NOW

—

Lancer didn't know where Rouxls was!

It was Halloween night, and the Card Castle inhabitants were much in the mood, with bats and fake webs lining the walls, the thrill of hoping the king wouldn't see it making the otherwise mediocre decorations more exciting. The King didn't care for holidays much.

And while Lancer could technically go do some of his chores or go talk to the *$%^ Squad, he really wanted to hang out with Rouxls! But where was he?

Just when Lancer had finished looking through the bottom floors and was going back to his room in defeat, Rouxls jumped out from behind the shop. Lancer screamed and Rouxls yelled,

"ART THOU SHOOKETH?!"

Rouxls stared at his phone and shook his head.

Somehow Lancer had accidentally added him to "The #%$^ Squad Group Chat! (Trademark Pending)"!

He was about to hit the "Leave Conversation" button when his curiosity got the better of him.

What followed was possibly the weirdest week of his life. It started with a text from the blue lightener.

 _The #%$^ Squad Group Chat! (Trademark Pending)_

 _Kris:_

 _Guys_

 _Kris:_

 _I just texted Asriel and he says that he kissed Susie once_

 _Kris:  
Susie I know you're reading this _

_Kris:_

 _Explain_

 _Susie:  
Ew no way_

 _Susie:_

 _I don't even like guys and I hardly ever met the goat_

 _Susie:_

 _Scouts honor_

 _Susie:_

 _I didn't kiss him_

 _Ralsei:  
You're not a scout!_

 _Susie:_

 _Heads up, toothpaste boy you never even met anybody until we came along_

 _Susie:_

 _You weren't either_

 _Ralsei:_

 _:(_

 _Ralsei:_

 _No cake for you :D_

 _Susie:_

 _You can't stop me_

 _Kris:  
You really can't _

_Lancer:  
Cake!_

 _Ralsei:_

 _Nobody who was in the Dark ^%$^ Squad gets cake_

 _Ralsei:_

 _Villains don't get cake_

 _Kris:  
Hey that's not fair Lancer did nothing wrong_

 _Ralsei:  
*coughs* prison basement _

_Lancer:_

 _I didn't mean that…_

 _Susie:_

 _He didn't leave him alone_

 _Ralsei:  
Fine _

Rouxls just sighed at the 23 notifications going off on his phone like rapid fire.

Lancer was lucky Rouxls liked him.

Ralsei was visiting the castle.

Rouxls didn't particularly care for him. He was too much of a _hero_ , someone who would actually prepare to die for a kid he had just met. He was glad Ralsei made that choice, but that didn't mean he liked Ralsei.

The two kids were upstairs, playing and possibly burning the castle down (the hysterical giggles when in a strike of boredom Rouxls went down to the prisons to see the former King, who (in a strangely spiteful bout of poetic irony) was in the cell he had placed the former three kings in.

Which was good, in Rouxls opinion. He _was_ no better than an animal.

"Greetings, former sire!" Rouxls' voice was cheery, despite his lingering nervousness. Lancer wasn't the only one scarred by this monster in front of him. "How is prison life for thou?"

"Go _away_ , Rouxls." The king's voice, in contrast, was dark and threatening. ROuxls suppressed a shudder.

"If thou wishes, sire, but I wish to impart upon thou that thoust childe is now upstairs playing with thoust friendeth. He is truly happy. Thoust could hath madeth him happy, but thoust chose not to. I hope it _haunts_ you, that he lives happily and free from a father who tried to _murder him._ Good day."

And Rouxls never returned.

—

Sobs were ringing out through the empty halls.

Rouxls was clenching his fists and trying to calm his breathing, and not run into the throne room and rip the king to _dust_ , because how _dare he_ even _try_ to hurt _his son?_

The sounds of a fist hitting _something_ and sobs growing even more loud and his heart is _throbbing_ in pity because _Lancer doesn't deserve this, why would you do that to him how can you not see how much of a good kid he is-_

And there's the sound of a door slamming and _there he is and oh goodness he's bleeding I'm going to kill him can't let him anywhere near Lancer-_

It'd be a death sentence to even touch Lancer at this point, but he's clinging to Rouxls' side so he shifts a little bit to protect the small body, and thankfully the king thinks anything beyond this is a waste of his time because there's a death glare shot in their direction, but they're alone and they're _safe_ , and Lancer is crying so hard he's having trouble breathing, so Rouxls slides to the floor and envelops Lancer in a hug, and Rouxls prays to a deity he knows abandoned him _long, long ago_ to at least get them away from the monster a floor away.

If the Lightners of prophecy are going to come, he hope and prays they will soon.

—

A/N: Haha. Threw in angst. Didn't see that coming, did you.

As it's really late at night and I'm surviving off deltarune fan art and my own spite, I'm gonna make this quick, but I wanted to explain my tendency to use run-on sentences in angst especially because some people did ask.

My tendency for run-ons comes from my own experiences with anxiety, where thoughts don't exactly separate and all run into each other, so when I write characters into high stress situations or with anxiety, I use my own experiences to place emphasis on them.

Please Read and Review;

Luna❤️


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